Attachment.

I love my daughter. Deeply truly ferociously love her. So why is it i just want to walk away from her when she's being so clingy and awful?? I c
an't

5
25
52

52

52


6
+6552
25+052
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0005
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052
145

5
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26

692++6+
589+8

(that was her playing with the number pad)

+6659+
58*
+85966+

I am not allowed to pee. I can't make myself anything to eat. Even when I manage to make food, she insists on eating it, or grabbing at my hands until i spill it. Her father is home now, and we got a box in the mail from his mom, so she's over there all interested in that right now. But that unfailing, patient love mom's are supposed to feel is failing me. Maybe its the lack of help that I have during the day, I have a household to clean and run, and the only thing i get to run is my daughter around the floor. I love being home with her, and knowing that she's getting all the love and attention i have to give her, but the few hours a week that I get to myself are just not enough. I'm afraid that I may be too selfish to live up to this amazing job.

Come visit me

here.

I'm in a creative mood. Hope you like it.

she's screaming again....

it's 10:17 at night... she's been asleep since the car ride home at 8. what in the world has her up now??

What has my world orbited into???

Man I'm a slacker!!!

SO anyway... here I am, in the house i was fantasizing about. it has red walls now. eeww. i will be painting them!!!

My thoughts are a jumble. There is just so much to think about!! I have a job now, and once again feel like I'm working for someone inferior to me. I will never really get a job that is worth my potential just because i don't' have 'experience' that I can write down. Given the chance, i could do amazing things in my line of work, but getting someone to believe that is such a hurdle! Things could be worse. I could have no job at all, and that wouldn't be helpful. Being grateful for the opportunities i have is probably something i should focus on more.

It's late, and I will come back to this again. I hate knowing that i let this go. but, life gets in the way. or you get yourself in the way of your life.......